The return of tighty-whities
You wanna guess the colour of my underwear? It’s white, love, says Will Hosie
The fashion press is awash with pieces on the return of the budgie smuggler. OLD NEWS! Anyone with taste and an internet connection knows the speedo renaissance began way back in 2022. 21, even.
I want to turn the spotlight, if professional fashion journalists and gatekeepers will let me, to another groin-hugging garment that’s been doing the rounds: oft imitated but never surpassed, ruthlessly mocked and endlessly envied. It is, of course, the tighty-whity. Come take a bow. You’ve earned it.
The resurgence of the iconic underpant has been driven, I submit, by three things. One, grandpa-core. Two, Luca Guadagnino’s Challengers, which has made all things tight and white very chic indeed. And three – most importantly – the accounts I’ve received from women and gay men across the continent, who tell me it’s all the rage. (I myself wouldn’t know. I lead a very chaste life.)
John Corbett as Aidan Shaw in And Just Like That (2023)
Sarah Jessica Parker and John Corbett in Sex and The City (2000)
What is it about the tighty-whity that so captures the imagination? For one, it leaves so little to it. Its entire design is arranged to cup and cuddle the soldiers. It’s as old school as it gets, and commands the same kind of allure as a Burberry trench coat. It’s sexy without trying to be — sexy in a gauche way.
Indeed, the tighty-whity is not the male equivalent of a corset or a bodycon dress; nor is it the underwear equivalent of baggy jeans or cargo pants. It sits in a category all its own: tight-ish, brief yet unsuggestive and almost unintentionally transparent, like a tease who doesn’t know he’s a tease. Or that very handsome colleague who flirts with your wife or husband at the firm’s Christmas dinner but you forgive him anyway, because he’s so utterly charming and you kind of fancy him too.
Not all tighty-whities are created equal. You don’t want to be buying Y fronts, or any of that line-down-the-middle nonsense. In fact, if you see any of those being flogged or advertised, burn them.
Google is somewhat unhelpful. Search for ‘tighty-whities that aren’t Y fronts’ and you are suddenly confronted with (shock horror!) think pieces on the matter. Tighty-whities: friend or foe? (Friend.) Are they bad for your balls? (Bollocks.) Why are briefs or tighty-whities no longer as popular as underwear these days? (Whoever wrote that is semantically very confused.)
So, here’s my Wikihow. My How To Spend It. My guide to buying the perfect pair. Ladies, read on too: if not for your boyfriend then for yourselves. If boxers are the fashionista’s short of choice this summer I can guarantee it won’t be long before Bella Hadid or Camille Charrière are wearing tighty-whities to the flea market.
Paul Newman in the 1963 thriller, The Prize. Which is not a euphemism for his bulge.
Step One: Know your fit
Do you like ‘em tight or loose? Don’t be fooled by the name: the tighty-whity can be either. Choose the size accordingly and know that it’s a trade off. What might feel a little constricting on your hips is likely to make your bum look great.
Step Two: Pick the cut
We’ve officially banned Y fronts out of respect for fashion/humanity. But tighty-whities are a capacious term and cover all manner of underwear cuts, from jockeys (what you wore as a kid) to more PG models closer to a sports boxer. I believe the correct terms are “hip brief” or just plain old “brief”.
The real question is: how much leg, and waist, do you want to show? Are you more Tipper Gore or Paris Hilton? Merriam Webster defines tighty-whities as “snug white underpants for men”. (It’s also “slang”, apparently.) Up to you which feels more comfortable.
Step Three: Choose a fabric
You have two options here: cotton or polyester. If you need me to clarify which is the right one, you don’t deserve to know.
Korean singer and K-Pop Idol HOLLAND wears a tighty-whity in a fashion shoot.
Charli XCX recently chronicled the embarrassment of choices we face when it comes to underwear. Pretty in pink or all see through; high waisted or low enough to show off a tramp stamp… The perfect tighty-whity solves all these problems and more. Long may it reign.
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